SHOW THEM GRACE

Our dearest friends in Florida recently became parents for the first time through adoption.  Their daughter is 8, and their son is 5.  The kids have both been physically and emotionally abused,   are the products of severe neglect, malnutrition, abandonment, and have serious issues with eating, or not wanting to. And yes, they will starve themselves if not forced to ingest calories.

Our friends thought they knew children.  They thought they would know how to parent.  They thought they would be praised at restaurants and stores for how well behaved their kids are.  Instead, they get told that if they can't control their kids in a store, they should leave them at home.  People move to other tables in restaurants so they won't be close to this family.  The parents have been humbled and broken.

And my heart breaks.  It breaks for them, watching them as they struggle and fight everyday to JUST GET THEIR KIDS TO EAT.  My heart breaks that as they try to discipline one of them, nothing gets through.  No remorse, no change of behaviour, no desire to do better.  My heart breaks that they feel so alone. And my heart breaks that I've been SO JUDGMENTAL.

How many times have you and I been in a store or restaurant, and seen that mom with unruly kids, thinking, "they should discipline more."  But what we are REALLY thinking is that they should just spank more.  But what if after you spank, the child turns to you and tells you they like it, what then? If they have been physically abused, is it really the best option?  I'm not saying I have the answers, and our friends would say they don't either.

What I'm asking, PLEADING us to do is as a body of believers, come alongside parents, especially parents of young children.  Those who have gone before, who have older kids, who have some wisdom, PLEASE come alongside GENTLY and offer HELP.  Pray for them.  Offer to bring a meal, to babysit, SOMETHING.  Insist on it.  Don't offer parenting advice unless asked.  You don't know their kids like they do. You probably don't know the things they struggle with on a daily basis.

Our friends' daughter was struggling AGAIN one day to eat, as she does every day.  Her mom had told her that she couldn't go to VBS that evening until she finished her food.  The struggle went on.  Back and forth.  Between mother and child.  Finally, in frustration, the daughter turns to her mom and pleads, "Can you just show me grace?  I know I don't deserve to go to VBS, but can you please let me go?"  GRACE she already understands.  Show them GRACE!  Show families' that are struggling, GRACE.  It's what we who are saved have been shown.  We just often seem to forget.

Oh, and if you see this precious family,

Show them GRACE, love on them, and pray for them. (and bring them a meal:)